Time Management – Just Say “No!”

Have you seen the movie Yes Man? The main character, Carl, starts off always saying “no” to everything, but ends up attending a motivational seminar that encourages people to answer “Yes!” to every opportunity that presents itself.

Well… I seem to have the opposite problem. I seem to say “yes” to everything. As a result, I often end up spending time and money when I would rather not. Lately, I end up exhausted and unhappy because it leaves little room in my life for some of the other things I want to do.

I think I have a hard time saying no for a few reasons. Aside from saying yes to the normal obligations in life such as the need to work to put a roof over my head and feed myself, one of the most pressing reasons is that I suffer from FOMO (fear of missing out). Of course, there’s the part of me that just wants to be helpful so I often say yes to requests – there are even times I offer help even when people don’t ask, but that’s another story for another day. And, I suppose, a little part of me feels that someone will be hurt or won’t like me if I say no. Logically, I know that’s usually not the case, but I can’t help it from being my gut reaction. Oh, did I mention I easily succumb to guilt trips too? In the end, I seem to prioritize other people’s needs before my own. I need to find a better balance.

I have a time management problem. And one aspect of time management is just learning to say no.

Look, I’m not always unhappy about the things I say yes to. I usually enjoy the things I do very much. I’ve been able to do and experience a lot of amazing things because I say yes (even when I’m afraid). For now, I just want to work on the projects I’ve wanted to do, but have put off “until I have free time.” Due to my hesitancy to say no, I don’t have very much free time. 

So, what can I do about it? First of all, I’m going to start SCHEDULING in “Grace” time first, then scheduling around that rather than just hoping to get some in between. I’ve tried “Hermit Mode” before, but it seldom works. I inevitably ended up agreeing to do something with someone. I think I just need to start small by scheduling at least one day a week for me and telling people I’m just not available that day. I’m getting burned out. I want to do some of the things that give me pleasure like gardening, reading, or organizing my home (yes, that one does give me immense pleasure). I hate living in clutter and disorganization. 

I’ll let you know how this little experiment goes.